Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Efficiently Inefficient

Oh yes…I am as inefficient as one can be. Oh no no… generally i am very talented and proficient…believe me! But when it comes to handling things like home or household stuff…no one can beat me in the level of inefficiency I tend to exhibit.

After getting used to my life in hostels and PGs, I have been just conditioned to get my things done without having to worry about stuff like water bill, electricity bill or safety of home. Within these 10 days of my stay alone at home, I realized how challenged I am.

It is simply DIFFICULT to manage things. So what if you have a maid to clean your house or a cook to prepare your meals? Getting up early (by early I mean 7.30 or 8 in morning) so as to feed my dog or to let the maid come in made me compare myself with all those soldiers who have to be awake and struggle for their and our lives! My apologies if anyone of you thinks that I am trivializing their efforts…But ask me…it was nothing less than going for a fight (fighting for sleep you see!)

Telling my cook what to prepare for dinner was more difficult than deciding the future of India (this is in case-if I ever get a chance to do that). In fact my cook understood my condition and started preparing by himself and also helped in decision making many a times. I can’t tell you how grateful I was to him when he told me that I can prepare this daal or this curry. The only thing which I use to do was boiling milk which was again quite eventful. Every day….yes every single day I have left milk on the gas stove for hours together and went ahead with my chores. And ultimately ended up cleaning the entire kitchen! While preparing tea I would put ginger in Oil instead of water. How on earth can you get confused between boiling water and a pot full of oil?? But yes I used to. I tried washing my clothes and washing machine stopped working!

So yes, I efficiently managed to screw up everything I tried to put my hands on!

Friday, June 24, 2011

Uncle S..and Cars

Uncle S..has arrived again...now with his new fantasy for cars. Oh no no..not on the latest cars or luxury cars or cheap cars or even toy cars for that matter. How can he have something normal?

Now a days he has found a new work..looking at each and every car in our colony. He is the new self-appointed guard of our colony who is suspicious of each and every car. So what he actually do?? Hmm..we shall look into that right now..

One fine day..

Uncle S..Beta where is your car? (All this started from that very moment!!)
Me- Uncle we don't have it anymore.

Uncle s..Then park your bike at the car's place.
Me.. (What!!) We already have space for that Uncle.

Uncle S..Other people might park their car in front of your house.
Me (As if I care!) Anyway to cut short the conversation, I said-Sure Uncle we will.

After few days..

Uncle s..(again) Beta, is that your car? That blue one, pointing to a car parked near an open area in our colony .
Me..No Uncle, not ours.

Uncle S..- Ok then the other one? That grey Car, is that yours?
Me- (patiently) No Uncle. We don't have any car. That is also not mine. (Why on Earth do you need to know who are the owners Uncle- I thought)

Uncle S..Oh God..Whose car is this? Who has parked this ?

And after getting a unsatisfactory answer from me, Uncle S..decided to ask other neighbors. He went ahead and tortured few more people then.

After enjoying the drama for some time and watching him ask every one about the car almost making everyone feel that its a crime to not know about the car owners! I decided to enlighten him with some information.

Me- Uncle..This blue car belongs to two guys. I have seen them. I guess they live nearby.

Uncle S..Relieved..Thank God..Accha they live in the adjacent colony. Good.

Wondering what made him so tensed. And how a trivial almost negligible information erased all that baseless tension. What was he thinking? Obviously, it is a car and will belong to someone. We are normal people staying in this colony of mine not any multi-billionaire or politician that some one will plant a bomb in car and run away. What was my Uncle thinking?

Anyway, I decided not to challenge my thinking abilities on Uncle and his behaviors and came back to my room.