Friday, January 24, 2014

(Indian) Wedding Tamasha

Not just cold…weddings are also killing many around, not literally. Whenever I attend or hear about wedding, there is one question that pops up in my mind. What these “fat” weddings are for?

They do have a few positive attributes attached to them, for instance you get an approval from society to live together, whether you want it or not, you just get it. Second and quite an important one is that you get plenty of gifts. How many of those are of use is a different matter altogether. Third is that you are given more than enough time to dress up and present to the world your glamorous side. Fourth is your chance to meet your cousins, relatives (likeable ones) and friends who just come to be a part of your big day. Although for all this you need not splurge lakhs and crores of rupees. A simple court marriage would have also brought them to you but who cares, a wedding is wedding as you know.

It is not the concept of wedding of which I am against. I understand legally, especially in Indian situation, it plays an important role.  It does call for celebrations too; after all two individuals have decided to live the rest of their life together. Unfortunately, wedding to me seems to be about everything else but the bride and the groom. Most importantly a gigantic display of money and yes power, whoever has it.

Show as much as you can! Make it big! Tell rest of them how much I can afford to waste! –these appear to be the wedding mantras which people seem to follow.

No matter if you get your dream lengha in 20 k at a local shop, you will go to the biggest showroom and buy the same for 65. Wedding after all!

You might get a sherwani or formal suit stitched in half the price but you will spend 20 times more and get a designer tag attached. After all, people have to know from where you did your “wedding shopping”.

You might like taste of the food served by your neighborhood cook but you will go to the most expensive, celebrity caterer because they are dressed aptly to serve you! And yes off course because you have to tell other what was the cost of per plate, whether it was 2k per plate or 3k or more.

On top of all this, even in a thing as simple as invite you have to think how to put a tag of your income! So you will select the most atrociously looking yet expensive invitation card, no matter if it looks like a diary or a tabloid or a wooden stick! It HAS to attract people’s attention, if possible also leads to a few minutes of tea time talk. Oh yes, we very comfortably forget that its basic purpose was to communicate an important piece of information.

You might like local, very Indian marigold but how can you even dare to choose it for decorating your wedding venue.  So what will you go for? Oh yes Orchid, you might not even know the exact spelling of the flowers you will finalize but you have to surpass the last wedding you have attended. Now it is your turn to be the talk of the town after all.

The bride has to be gifted dozens of saris and HEAVY gold jewelry. Who cares if she will never wear those? How does it matter if she is more comfortable in her jeans and shorts and likes bags more than gold?
The list can go on and on and so are the ways to display your bank balance. What I don’t understand is our need for approval. Why do we seek others’ appreciation, their approval? Why do we need to do the way it is ALWAYS done? Why do we need to follow those long lost rituals which don’t hold any meaning in our present lifestyle? Why money is always the center of very discussion?

P.s. - This post (rambling) contains my personal views. If any of these hurt your cultural sensitivity and ii it offends your “pro- fat wedding” attitude, please be free to feel as you wish, although none is intended. 

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Will you?

 Erasing the traces of past
You are trying for future, 

Killing the soul
you try to procreate

Degrading the present,
you plan for a new one

Will you get what you want

by doing what you shouldn't